The Recluse & Facebook

Last year I visited the Church of St. Simeon Stylites near Aleppo in Syria - the ruins of a 5th century monastery built around a reclusive monk who spent the last 37 years of his life on a small platform atop a column. (In the picture I took, a large boulder now stands on the base where the column once stood within the large arch). A calm surrounded the place - a quiet we city dwellers rarely encounter. And even when we do, we usually bring along an ipod or book to pass the time with. How cleansing it was to hear the wind, the rustling of leaves on olive trees on the valley below and nothing more. It was easy to clear my mind and appreciate the pull of this place and feel how he must have felt 15 centuries earlier. I had not felt that kind of peacefulness for many years.

But today's blog is about the hermit who famously forbade all women (including his mother) from coming near his column. I can appreciate his spirituality, but we INFJs can be a little too reclusive or introverted at times. I'm not sure if it's an effect of nature or nurture, but I am glad to be a moderate introvert. I am completely content around people for several hours as long as I'm not forced to have conversations with people I can't relate to, but I attribute that to growing up with several brothers and sisters.

I joined Facebook yesterday. Although I can go days without speaking to a single person, I can totally blog and express myself on social networking sites - usually with aliases - but with great satisfaction. I've heard INFJs are very literate people - writing especially being one creative medium of self expression. If only Facebook existed in the 5th century, St. Simeon too would have been able to spread his message of obedience to God, compassion and temperance without having to lower his rope ladder to receive the pitiful multitudes that flocked to him for guidance. Our world is increasingly facilitating a hermit-like existence for introverts - I challenge all INFJs to resist temptation to live your life via electronic media and develop that social skill called conversation.

It is a challenge I'm passing forward while still working on it myself. A colleague told me to stop expecting the hot guy at the gym to be the one to initiate a conversation and speak up. This is totally foreign to me. Aren't matches made in heaven? Is it not completely out of my control? So far the fear of rejection is completely debilitating, but at least the seed has been planted and maybe one day I will start the conversation. I'll keep you updated.

I leave you with this friendly public service message: be sure to put the oxygen mask over your own face first before helping others.